nc 17 // JongHo // ~15k w
music provided for your convenience.
soft rock star -- metric
I swear this day is the replica of hell. This Saturday started with me waking up to Jinki’s assigned ringtone at 5:30 am after having hit the snooze button of my alarm clock for what seemed like 50 times.
“Minho yah~ Rise and shine, porcupine!”
I can’t even tell him to fuck off because it’s his birthday.
I literally drag myself out of bed after flipping my cellphone shut, groaning the whole way through. In the midst of pulling my weight I pause, half of my body hanging over the edge of my bed and I somehow manage to fall back to sleep when that irritating ringtone comes in again reminding me that Jinki’s determination isn’t to be reckoned with.
It goes off again when I’m brushing my teeth and I’m this close to throwing it against the wall. By the time I start packing and it starts ringing again I settle with throwing it in the bottom of my bag with a war cry.
“That’s right, phone! I win!”
I’m convinced of it too, until I hear Jinki honking his car from outside my house.
My mom greets me in the kitchen, a cup of coffee and the morning paper in her hand.
“Who is that?” She asks me as I reach into the fridge for a carton on juice.
“Oh, you’re smart friend?”
“Annoying friend as of now.”
I assure her that we’re going to get breakfast on the way, kiss her on the cheek and leave. I haul my bag in the trunk without much help from any of them as neither Taemin nor Jinki volunteer to get out of the car, instead choosing to chant my name over and over again while tapping on the dashboard.
I don’t notice Key and Jonghyun get in, sleeping the rest of the way until we finally reach the camp site. It’s a small park somewhere outside of the city, pleasant and outdoor-sy for all intensive purposes. Key shakes me awake and I see Jinki and Taemin taking their things from out of the trunk. My neck’s stiff from the position I was in but that’s the least of my problems right now when I see Jinki’s things and realize that I forgot to bring one important supply.
“How could you have forgotten to bring a tent?” Jinki stands before me, hands on his waist, Taemin setting up their tent behind him and Key and Jonghyun setting up their own separate tents as well. “On a camping trip?”
“Yeah.” I extend my syllables. “It must’ve slipped my mind.”
“God, you’re dumb.” Key comments offhandedly from his bent over position. I had half a mind to knee him in the balls, but Jinki wasn’t done with me.
“Hyung, he can just share with us.” Taemin suggests to which Jinki’s eyes go as round as plates. He swivels on his heel to face Taemin whose breathing was labored from setting up the sizeable tent all on his own.
“What?” Taemin shakes his head. “He’d do the same for you.”
“Yeah, but…” Jinki gestures about with his hands. Taemin stares. “You know.”
“Hyung, is birthday sex really that much more important than saving your bestfriend from getting eaten by a bear?” Taemin asks after a moment.
“Yah!” Jinki protests the same time Key’s laughter rings through their ears. I exhale. If only Jinki hyung had listened to me. Then we wouldn’t be in this rut. Well, I wouldn’t be in this rut.
I leave the two of them to go over things, already feeling hunger bubbling in my stomach even after having eaten merely minutes ago. Breakfast always makes me hungry throughout the day.
I turn around to get to the food supplies which I think is still in the trunk when Jonghyun appears from behind me.
I stare at him, questioning his location, however the other male doesn’t seem too bothered by the scenario. I’m about to ask what he was doing when he reveals, from behind him, a mosquito swatter and hands it over to me.
I take it in one hand, eyes on the clever, flat Mickey Mouse shape at the end and even before I can say thank you Jonghyun’s walking towards the food from inside the trunk. I walk after him, trying to count the good things about today instead.
“Happy birthday dear, Jinki! Happy birthday to you!”
Kibum went for a high note, his voice straying above ours while Jonghyun clapped all through the song. I was surprised to find out that Taemin had ordered a cake without Jinki knowing, stuffing it somewhere in the trunk and delivering it to us without a decoration out of place. What a cute kid. He even brought party hats with frills on the tips, paper plates and cups and forks, an effort well spent on his deserving boyfriend.
Jinki’s touched, of course, showing his appreciation at first by patting a thank you on Taemin’s cheek.
“What the hell are you guys, brothers?” I tease from my Indian seat by the campfire.
“Give him a smooch, for chrissake!” Key agrees and we howl in unison, chanting the couple for one kiss. We cheer as their lips touch, but when they don’t let go and I see a hint of tongue Key and I start gagging, hands on our throats.
“We said kiss, not taste each other’s lunch!”
“Get a tent!”
Around 10pm we get sick of the cliché horror stories (especially since Key insisted that his story was a true to life one) so Jinki decides to break out beer from inside the cooler, tossing us all a bottle. I turn Jonghyun’s cap open for him when I see him having trouble with it, Key eyeing us playfully, but saying nothing when I reach over a log to give Jonghyun back his bottle.
“What did you wish for when you blew out the candles?” Taemin asks Jinki after a few sips.
Jinki leans over his knees that were parted, straightening his posture over the rock he was sitting on. “That we’re all still together in the future.”
Key would have made a joke by now, teasing Jinki for being such a sap. Hell, I would have done the same. But Jinki gave us all this look of gratitude and I couldn’t help the smile growing on my lips.
“I’ll drink to that.” Key raises his bottle.
I’m on my second bottle when my tummy grumbles and I ask for a bag of chips. Key comes out with about ten bags of them, dumps them in front of me and my eyes light up like Jinki on his birthday.
“Word on the street is you’re gonna be swimming for the interschool competition this year.” Key nudges me.
I laugh over the handful of chips I’m aiming at my mouth. “Gossip street’s not as dependable as you’d think.”
“Don’t listen to him, he’s being modest.” Jinki says like a proud father.
Taemin snuggles closer beside him, tugging on his jacket before reaching for his beer. “Minho’s going to lead our school to victory.” He was always a lightweight, his were already red from one bottle.
“I still have eliminations to swim through first.” I remind them, the memory coming back to me. My life back at home. Somehow being here with them wasn’t as bad as I thought.
I see Jonghyun listening intently to our conversation and I practice my non staring tactic once again. It’s just that, with the moon and the stars and camp fire… needless to say he was fucking gorgeous tonight. His skin was just, wah. And his eyes were all, yeah. And his face… he makes me so ineloquent… more so than usual, at least.
“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you swim yet.” Key ponders out loud. “Let’s hope you swim better than you flirt.”
“Those two don’t go hand in hand.” When I’m drunk, the Jonghyun jokes don’t seem as unappealing. I smile over the mouth of my bottle. Maybe I should slow down.
“Au contraire, friend.” Key raises a finger of protest. “By the way a guy moves in the water, so much can be told.”
“You’re implying something completely different, friend. And if that’s the case then I still win.” I tap my stomach. “I’ve got the stamina of three stallions, mind you.”
“Just three? Why not four?”
“Oh, suck my stallion dick, Key.”
“That can be arranged.”
too late -- m83
Five bottles down and I can feel my muscles loosening. I should’ve stopped with the sixth, but nooooo, I just had to open another one. Now, I’m clawing at a tree trunk while heaving this morning’s waffles and the chips I’ve just been shoving into my mouth. Key’s standing close by, keeping an eye on me. He would’ve held my hair away for me too except my other hand’s doing that for me.
“Key…” at this point my logic is close to none and I can feel the world spinning on its axis because a part of me thinks I’m on top of it. “I really like your cousin.”
I spit out the last taste of acid I can gather in my mouth, reaching in my pocket for the tiny mouthwash bottle that I had somehow manage to bring with me. I remember my mouth wash but not my tent. Choi Minho, ladies and gentlemen.
No reply comes after my confession (if it was a confession to even begin with) and as I move the minty liquid around in my mouth said cousin pops up from beside me. I spray the mouthwash on the tree trunk by accident, jaw going slack and my sockets felt so loose around my eyes.
And Jonghyun’s just standing there, hands in his jacket pockets, no expression on his face that I can go by or count as a reaction. I must’ve mistake him for Key? Did I just do that? It’s dark and I am beyond the lines of tipsy.
He doesn’t prolong the awkwardness in between us, nudging his head to the side and pulling on my one arm. I let him stretch my one arm to the side and drape it over his shoulders. I couldn’t keep a straight stance much less anyway and when I lean my weight on his side he holds us both up without much effort. I feel his neck muscles tighten the same time his grip does on my wrists and I swallow mint and nervousness down, my pulse doing more beats than after 5 laps around the pool.
Jonghyun leads me back to the camp, the fire gradually coming into view with flickers of orange behind the silhouettes of tree trunks and branches. There were twigs scratching my legs from where my cargo shorts don’t cover but I don’t say anything. Mostly because the way Jonghyun’s neck is bent and curved and the way his jaw his tightening from this view left very little else to pay attention too. It’s a miracle that my legs are still working at this state.
My mind jumps back to what I had said earlier. And it’s only occurred to me that I said it to him. He isn’t bothered by it because he knows. But, wait. What the hell? Why is he shrugging it off like it means nothing? I feet stop working and Jonghyun freezes. He gives my wrist a tug but I don’t budge. I’ve lost my mind, I just know it.
“I don’t get you at all, Jonghyun.” I slur. I slip my arm away from his grip, stumble out of his reach until I feel something solid to lean on. I grab onto the nearest tree trunk, spin around slowly to lean on it for balance. Jonghyun’s right where I left him, quiet as ever, hands back in his pockets.
We stare at each other and even beneath all of my clothes I feel naked and defenseless, vulnerable with his stare enveloping me. My chest is contracting, maybe it’s a warning that if I go on I’m going to break, that this is something that I’m not ready to endure. But warnings have only ever slowed me down.
“You’re the one who refuses to speak, but I feel like I’m always the one who isn’t heard between us. Like I’m the one without a voice.” Jonghyun’s eyes soften then, his head turning away slightly. He pins his stare to his jacket pocket where I’m sure he’s reaching for his tickler.
“No.” I find it in myself to somehow push off the tree. Jonghyun is shocked to a sudden pause when I speak so when I move towards him I get a hold of the tickler and the pencil before he can make a grab for them back. I flip through the pages, some blank, some used and tear them by folds, ruining them to uselessness. I cover the shadowed hedges with white and throw what’s left of the tickler away. The pencil was a lot more difficult to break than I thought so I settle with chucking it as far as I could. When I’m done my lungs are fighting for air and I bend over, hands on my knees, before facing a slightly displeased Jonghyun.
“All I do is try, Jonghyun. It’s all I do. I’ve never been this frightened or unsure in my life, but I can’t keep myself from you. And I can’t pretend that this is gonna go away. God!”
I catch my breath again, in and out.
“You. You fucking rip my heart out everyday. Every fucking day. When you hide behind your tickler and your silence. Do that shit with everyone else. Not with me, Jjong. Don’t do that with me.”
My legs trip over themselves when I shakily progress towards him. His hands automatically open to catch me and my face fits in the crook of his neck, both of my hands landing on his side. He steadies me by the shoulders, touch calm and the opposite of how I’m clawing at his jacket right now.
“I want to see you in the bleachers when I win eliminations. I want to hear you cheering me on.”
It’s the last sound that reaches my voice before my close and the world stops spinning.
intro -- the xx
It’s still dark when I wake up inside someone’s tent. The light from the moon is enough to illuminate the sides of the tent, enough to make me realize that I’m not alone.
To my left lies Jonghyun, back turned to me, his form breathing soundly. I blink sleep out of my eyes without effort. How can I sleep when he’s right there?
I know the alcohol has subsided but I’m not as sober as I’m supposed to be. I push myself forward anyway; close enough to breath in Jonghyun’s scent from his nape. Jonghyun oozes a mixture of fresh laundry and shampoo, filling my nostrils until I want to breathe in more.
I move closer this time, the tip of my nose brushing his skin. And I should stop. Oh, how I should stop. But his skin felt so soft against my nose that I just wanted to know if it would be as soft on my lips.
I extend my neck, eyes closed and lips slightly parted when they touch the small land of skin on Jonghyun’s nape. I know he’s awake now. His breathing changed.
I remove my lips when I feel his head moving. He turns on his back, his head leaning to the side to face me with blinking eyes. I reach for his lips this time, his shoulder bone poking at my neck. He doesn’t protest even when I’m an eyelash away. So I move forward, close the remaining distance and sweep our noses together. When I open my eyes his are closed, like he’s waiting for our lips to touch.
I catch his upper lip with both of mine, lightly sucking, learning the softness of it even as it flexes a bit due to the contact. I move my head around, massaging his upper lip until I feel them part and soon Jonghyun’s moving leisurely with me, corresponding with my rhythm.
I pull my lips away for the briefest of seconds, just to see if this was real because this seemed like so many of my wildest dreams combined. My head hovers above his and his eyes flutter open when I we stop.
His eyes have gone dark, slightly hooded as he stares up at me. I dip my head down and crash our lips together again, a lot hungrier this time as I fill his mouth with all of my want.
I slip my tongue in once Jonghyun starts to open his mouth a little wider and once I do he welcomes the invasion, meeting my tongue with his own, tasting me back. I hear myself moan in the back of my throat when one of Jonghyun’s hands tangles with my hair, encouraging me, keeping my lips on his.
I cover his chest with mine, caging him with both arms flat beside him as I move our bodies together, the irritating fabric bunching up. His other hand comes up and snakes around my neck so I take that as a sign to swing one leg over both of his and wedge him between my thighs.
I’ve never done this to a boy before. I didn’t think that I ever could. But now, with Jonghyun pushing his hips up to meet mine just as I push him back down, I can’t find it in myself to stop. I’m drunk with his lips, with the way he arches his back, the way his touches are unsure.
I hold myself up with one arm near his head, the other hand snaking in between our bodies cupping over his jeans. I trail my kisses down his jaw, all the way down to his neck where I add a bit of teeth with every suck. I guide the motions of my hand on his crotch with the movement of my own hips, pushing the back of my hand to add pressure.
Jonghyun’s breathing comes out ragged. I’m already hard when I feel him tapping on my shoulder with both hands. I misinterpret his signals and start to unbutton his jeans. That’s when he pushes me off him and I fall on my back beside him.
I lie there, regaining my balance by leaning up on my elbows to look at him. Jonghyun curls up, back turned to me once again and starts rocking himself.
“What the fuck?” I whisper, breathing labored from the shock and half from what were doing earlier. “Jjong?”
He doesn’t cant his head to the side, doesn’t pass me a look of acknowledgement. He stays in his fetus position, arms wrapped around himself.
“Jonghyun?” I try again, worry clear in my voice.
Still no response.
I huff out a breath, much more frustrated this time than anything else, and this isn’t just about me and the tent in my pants. This was everything that built up to this point. There was always a catch with Kim Jonghyun. Always.
I try to calm myself down for a few minutes before moving closer to Jonghyun’s back.
I want to hold him. I want to touch him. Just keep him from trying to shield himself like this. I use one hand to touch his shoulder but stop halfway through, knowing that he might not appreciate being touched. I let my hand hover over his form though; allow it to run along the curve of his body without actually touching him.
“I don’t think you know exactly how much you mean to me.” I hear myself say in hushed whispers. “It’s not even about how fucked you are in the head. It’s not about accepting your past. It’s none of that. I’m way past that. I may not know what happened to you, but I’ll wait until you tell me. I’ll wait until you trust me enough to keep secrets with. I’ll stop trying to make things better. Because I know that I can never erase what’s happened. I just want you to know. That I’ll be satisfied with you saying my name once. Even if it’s the last thing I hear.”
I lie back down, keeping a safe amount of distance in between us as I do. I cover my eyes with the crook of my right arm, keeping it there to shield my eyes from the light that’s suddenly irritating my eyes. A few minutes pass when I feel a shift of position from beside me. When I remove my arm I see Jonghyun sliding close to me. I keep my eyes on his, watching his every move. I watch him snuggle close to me, his one arm going over my waist. He looks up at me, his eyes no longer in hiding.
He gives the corner of my shoulder a kiss and I can’t help but melt into his hug, my one hand going over his. But he slips his hand away, eyes never leaving mine. I sense his hand unbuttoning my shorts and zipping it down and without breaking our stare my hand reaches for his to stop him, to ask him if he’s sure.
He gives me a small smile of assurance and pulls his hand away from my grip, placing it into the open flaps of my shorts. I groan, hand flying to the bicep of his moving one, when I feel his warmth envelop my erection through my underwear, slowly teasing me back, my lips parting as my breathing increases.
Jonghyun begins moving is hand, thumb applying much more pressure than the rest over the head and I try my best not to close my eyes just so I can lock my stare with his. Jonghyun’s hand slips past the waistband of my boxers and soon finds my cock eager for his touch. Lightly, he circles his fingers around the base, readjusting his position to get a bit more comfortable before grazing his hand loosely over my length.
Jonghyun starts torturously slow, my skin heating up with the friction he’s creating. Everytime he reaches the top he pauses for a minute, going over the head with his thumb, circling and massaging it before stroking me down. I slide my shoulder down so that it won’t get in the way when I try to reach for his lips. He doesn’t make me suffer, doesn’t make me wait, instead meeting me halfway and covering my mouth instantly with moist perfection.
His strokes increase its rhythm and my mouth goes slack, but he keeps kissing me anyway, pressing harder and harder onto my mouth and stealing my breath.
I give into the shockwaves of pleasure he’s supplying me with, moaning a lot louder than the last, and no longer giving a shit if any of them heard. I push my hips up, meeting his strokes, my one hand gripping onto his shirt as I near my release.
I whisper in his ear harshly, I’m coming, fuck. I’m coming.
And he strokes hurriedly until I come in his hand, my breath hitching and every muscle in my body tensing. He doesn’t stop moving his hand until I calm down, until my grip loosens on his sleeve. I lie there, soaked in sweat and my own cum, waiting until my vision stops blurring and my heart stops climbing up my throat. I sense Jonghyun sitting up and reaching for something in his bag. When he lies back down he has a rag in his hand and he cleans his hand and myself off, tossing the rag to the corner of the tent when he’s done.
He zips me back up, kisses me on the cheek finally and lies back on his side with his arm around me like before. I couldn’t help the smile forming on my lips them, it’s starting to make my jaw ache.
“Hey, Jjong. Does this mean we’re a couple now?”
Jonghyun covers my mouth and shushes me.
Monday morning I leave my Doraemon tickler on Jonghyun and Key’s doorstep, an apology for ruining his old one. Key, as expected, continuously teases me for being such a wuss. I pay him no attention, instead keep my smile steady for Jonghyun when he circles around Key to give me a quick thank you peck on the cheek.
I learn about the schedule for elimination much later and I tell my coach that I’d practice over the weekend. It was a big sacrifice for me as I was planning on inviting Jonghyun to stay over. I settle with the promise that he’s come see me compete this time.
During the week I’ve come to school with a lot more enthusiasm, much to Jinki and Taemin’s surprise.
“Nothing!” Jinki and Taemin say in unison when I glare at them from staring at me during lunch. They smile at each other with knowing looks. Nothing my ass.
In first period I passed a note towards Jonghyun asking him if he wanted to come over.
Don’t you have practice? He writes back.
I can just practice on you.
I don’t think your coach would appreciate that.
I went to practice later that day and never ended up seeing Jonghyun that night because of exhaustion.
“So, you guys are like a couple now, right?” Taemin asks one day at lunch.
“I dunno. I guess.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jinki pushes the frames of his glasses up.
“I mean we’re kind of together, but no one’s solidifying it yet. He’s got a lot of shit to sort through first.”
“I still can’t believe you guys hooked up on my birthday.”
“We did no such thing!” I try to sound scandalized.
They both roll their eyes at me.
“With all of the ohs and ahs, it’s difficult to not know, Minho.” Taemin says matter of factly.
“I find it unbelievable that you managed to hear that over your own moans.”
Taemin reaches over to smack me over the head, accompanied by Jinki, “Get him good, baby!”
In the middle of the week Jonghyun finally invites me over his house, stating that Key was out shopping or something. He might have said something else but whenever I imagine Key out of the house he’s always shopping. I’m stereotypical like that, I guess.
I walk in the house, Jonghyun’s hand in mine and we make it past the hall before he takes his tickler out and writes me a note.
I have to show you something.
It’s in my room.
Jonghyun leads me upstairs through the narrow staircase and hallway. We end up in front of a white door, knob rusty and old. He gives me one look before passing me another note from his tickler.
No more secrets.
say it ain't so - mozella
When he turns the knob and the door swings open it takes a moment for me to process the sight before me. The walls of Jonghyun’s room was lined with pages from his tickler, notes scribbled on them and stuck to the walls all headed towards one direction in s single line, stretching from one wall to the other.
Jonghyun points to one of the notes, the beginning note where I read out loud what he had written.
“I was just like you once.” I started with the first paper, moving my way down as I read along, Jonghyun now sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting. “I had great friends and a fair enough life. I participated in almost everything that involved me being a part of the school activities. I acted in plays, sang in programs, played sports, wrote for the school paper; my voice was all I had.
“But things didn’t always work out my way. There was this one teacher who grew fond of me. Too fond of me. He was new last year and we became friends instantly because he was so welcoming. Until he started blurring our boundaries.
“It would happen more than once during school hours and afterwards. When I tried telling my friends about it they wouldn’t believe me, saying that this teacher was not the type to do so. I went to my parents about it too and I got the same reaction after they sat down with him and chatted with him privately. When I told Key about him he was the only one who believed. But he couldn’t do anything since we lived so far away.
“Key told me to fight. So, I did. One night when he told me to meet him in his office I brought a knife with me and tried to stab him in the eye with it. But I missed and only got to slice his cheek. He got mad and knocked my head over the table.
“All I remember is waking up in the hospital bed. I stopped talking then, deciding that if no one listened then what was the point. My parents tried to take me to see several psychiatrists but to no resolve. Only then did they stop to ask me what I wanted. I told them I wanted to live with Key and continue my schooling here.
“I’d wanted to take this to my grave. I didn’t want anyone to know. But I don’t want you to think that you aren’t worthy of anything. Thank you for never promising me anything you don’t plan on keeping. I owe you a lot more than you think.”
Key calls me up a night before eliminations. He probably heard about Jonghyun telling me everything. I know this because,
“So, Jonghyun tells me you know everything now.”
I settle in the booth opposite him in the diner, unsure whether to smile or frown. I do a mixture of both. I’m pretty sure that made me look like an idiot.
“You should know, Minho. He’s not some brand new toy on the shelf of some brand new toy store.” Key’s voice lowers and he leans over to express his seriousness. “He’s damaged and a lot more fragile.”
“I don’t see him as a toy at all, Key.” I retaliate. “And I know that. I like him. I like him a lot more than you will be able to comprehend.”
“I know.” Key shoves himself back into his booth. “That’s what scares me.”
He lays down his ground rules, how Jonghyun was to always be at home before midnight, how I wasn’t allowed to spend the night until a month passes by, how the only part of him I can kiss is his forehead – seriously, what was this? I humor him anyway, thanking him secretly for keeping Jonghyun safe after everything.
I sigh when Key and I part ways in the parking lot. I make it home in less than twenty, taking the stairs to the second floor in two just so I can land on my bed sooner than later.
I flip the light switch open and turn on my TV, flip through the channels until I stumble upon a program that I can enjoy but skip at the same time. I settle on a rerun of a sitcom and toss the remote on my bed, slipping my shirt out of my shoulder to ready myself for a shower.
Twenty five minutes later I walk back in my room, hair dripping, towel hanging low on my hips when I see Jonghyun trying to climb into my window.
Climbing and stumbling into my room.
Via my motherfucking window.
I freeze in my spot, smile reaching my ears as I watch him fumble and straighten up, a rather sizeable illustration board in his hands.
He beams at me when he finally stands straight, patting leaves out of his hair.
“Whatcha got there?” I ask, nearing him but stopping a few feet away.
He turns the illustration board towards the white side and I find the words, Go, Choi Minho! Milky Skin, Choi Minho! written all over the surface in a variation of glitter glue.
I fold over myself in a laughing fit, blushing at the same time as I take note of the effort Jonghyun put into the board. As I calm myself down he pins the board between his side and his arm and starts scribbling on the new tickler I bought him. He raises his message for me to read.
I made it for when I watch you win tomorrow.
“You’re gonna blind me with all this glitter.” I retort as I pull the board away from Jonghyun. Jonghyun goes back to writing a response on his tickler.
I think it’s rather tasteful.
“No, I like it.” I say as I give it another glance before laying it on the ground and pulling him closer by the collar of his jacket. “Thank you.”
I mold my mouth to fit his and I moan as he melts into the kiss, his hands losing grip on both the tickler and the pencil. I’m highly aware of how I’m breaking all of Key’s rules at the moment but Jonghyun’s right here, being all cute and loveable.
I feel Jonghyun’s hands move to my towel, loosening its hold on my hips until it pools on the floor. With our lips locked I walk back towards the bed, knees folding when my calves hit the edge. I fall back and catch myself from behind with both palms flat on the mattress while Jonghyun straddles me, never leaving my lips.
I’ve never exactly realized how long it was since we had moments like these, like that time at the tent. With something as simple as Jonghyun climbing into my window it all comes back to me in a heap. I release one hand and lay it flat on one side of his thigh, cling to it for leverage for when I flip him over on the bed, now positioning myself on top of him.
I raise the hem of his shirt, expose his skin and his chest and run my tongue in a straight line over the center, down to his stomach, bellybutton. However, when I get a bit lower Jonghyun shoves me onto my back, him now hovering above me.
I chuckle lightly; hand over his cheek as he stares down at me with a challenge glinting conspicuously in the corner of his eyes.
“So it’s like that, huh?” My one hands in exploring the plane of his abdomen, fighting against the fabric of his shirt. Jonghyun smirks before pulling his shirt over his head and our lips collide, my arms around his neck to pull him closer, like I can’t get enough of him.
I push off the mattress and manage to get Jonghyun on his back again when he’s distracted. I capture him in my arms and legs, unbuttoning him slowly. I lay myself on top of hip, my erection sandwiched between our torsos and start nipping on his neck.
It’s not long after I find myself comfortable on top of him that I feel him fighting to get on top of me again. I fight against his force this time, staring him down as I do so. He tries to push me to the side with one hand but I catch it in mid air and hold it above his head.
I dip my head down and breathe on the shell of his ear. “If you don’t like it, tell me.”
I manage to pull his pants down and he kicks them off for the most part. Now we’re skin against skin, nothing else stopping us from feeding each other with much needed touches. I hike one of his legs up with my free hand after capturing his other and placing it in my grip over his head.
I place feather light touches over his chest, down to his hips, then in between his legs, in the hole below his perineum. I raise my head to stare at his profile from the side. Jonghyun has his eyes closed, teeth clenched as if he’s afraid to moan out loud.
“I want to hear you, Jjong.” I whisper huskily. “I want to hear you beg. I want to hear you say how much you like it. How I feel inside you.”
I lick on the bell of his ear and tug on it with my teeth the same time I push the first inch of my ring finger inside him. He takes in a sharp breath, clenching involuntarily around my flesh and it sends surges of curious pleasure through me, making my skin even more heated and my cock twitch.
“I love how tight you are.”
I push my finger in deeper and he relaxes against the intrusion, breathing a bit more steady this time. I shift above him to make more room for my hand when our erections meet, eliciting a breath from the both of use.
I gradually drag my finger out, the part of it no longer in Jonghyun feeling cold already before I push it back in and keep a rhythm of thrusts to ready Jonghyun for my cock.
“I’m slipping another one in, okay?”
My hand loosens its grip on his hands the moment I feel sweat lining my hairline. Jonghyun slides his hands down, legs spreading wider as one digs into my brown hair, the other clawing at the sheets.
I accompany my ring finger with my middle one before pushing in again and Jonghyun tugs on my hair lightly, eyes completely shut.
“How does it feel, Jjong? Tell me…”
His precum slides from the head a little over his balls and the insides of his thighs. They reach my fingers and allow me to work into Jonghyun a bit easier as natural lubrication. I turn my head towards Jonghyun’s shoulder, breathing in his skin that’s not smelling of sweat and a little bit of my soap.
I release pull my fingers out and gather a lather of spit on my hand, coat it all over my length before hovering over Jonghyun with one hand, while the other guided the head of my cock towards his entrance.
It was just as warm as I’d imagined, and so much more. It was the kind of heat that I knew I’d be looking for, the kind that I would jerk off too in the bathroom when I find myself alone in the bathroom. I grunt upon entrance, my forehead colliding with Jonghyun’s chest. Jonghyun keeps his legs open for me, nails digging into my back. I hear him breath in and out, matching my thrusts and I try not to concentrate too much in the hopes that I can stay in this moment for longer. I didn’t want to come. Not yet. I wanted to savor this. Feel him as I stretch him wide while he clings to me as if he wants it just as much as I do.
“Do I feel good, Jjong?” I half moan into Jonghyun’s ear. I can almost hear him moaning but his breaths were much more dominant.
I feel his erection playing against both our stomachs so I trap it between our skins to create friction. I find my hips automatically going a step faster, then my bed starts creaking underneath us, accompanying the thrusts I try to keep at a minimum.
“Can I go harder?” He gives me permission my locking his ankles behind my back and lifting his tail allowing me easier access. I drive into him, skin slapping and dirty, my sweat forming and crawling down my back, my neck.
Both out mouths are open, Jonghyun’s in silent pleas. How I wanted to hear him. Just once.
I bring myself down to him when I feel myself on the brink of my orgasm. I come inside him, filling him with my own warmth and it doesn’t take him long to reach his climax.
But not before he satiates my longing.
Remember that kid who messed with Jonghyun a few weeks back? Yeah, well, I beat him by a foot at eliminations today. I pull off my goggles at the sound of the whistles, the crowd’s cheer a deafening chorus as I hop out of the pool and spit the water out of my mouth. I raise both my hands, spin around to face the surrounding crowd seated above the pool area.
My coach runs to me, settles for a high five but I pull him in for a hug, mess up his uniform with water and chlorine.
“YEAH!” I shout with the rest of the ongoing howls.
I spot Jinki and Taemin jumping up and down from the stands, waving at me, Jinki raising two thumbs up. Key’s beside Jinki nodding his respect my way. He’s still mad about last night and Jonghyun not coming home. But I can tell that he’s calmed down since this morning.
And then there’s Jonghyun, a small satisfied smile on his face. He doesn’t cheer like the rest of them, doesn’t jump up and down, doesn’t give me a thumbs up. Just a smile that isn’t guarded anymore. I smile back at him, detaching the snug swimming cap from my head, my hair falling to my eyes.
We stare at each other then, and no matter how loud the cheers grow, I can still hear him in my head even when he wasn’t trying, just standing there.Then it occurs to me that we never really needed words to begin with.